Where the boys talk about boys and the girls talk about girls.

Is it just me? Or are there hordes of gay couples watching X-Men at the cinemas today?

Months ago, I was at the movies with a whole clique of gay male friends and we were there for the sneak preview of the third X-Men installment. After we came out of the cinemas, one of our friends had to use the boy’s room. Following standard protocol, we waited in a small circle at the cinema entrance for him to rejoin the group. And as we waited and created a traffic obstruction, people streamed out like a river flow to our left and right. If there’s one skill I’ve learnt after hanging around gay men so often, is that your propensity for identifying gay men just skyrockets. And there’ to my left and right, were gay men in all their ‘NUM’/tanned/muscled glory. There were groups of three to four men-only cliques, and ‘couples’ of men walking together. It seemed that there were more gay people than straight people watching X-men.

Am I dreaming or am I dreaming?

Which makes me wonder, ‘why is it so often said that gay people identify with superhero movies?’ Especially the latest X-Men movie? What is it about the storyline or theme that draws us to such shows, even though they are not explicitly homosexual?

If you identify as queer, life has some very interesting perspectives and experiences in store for you. Personally, I always thought that if I had turned out to be straight, my life would be one very boring, straight-forward (pun fully intended) journey down a well-trodden path. I know that I wouldn’t compel myself to step out of my comfort zone. Life decisions were easy and would come to me on a platter. Go to secondary school, then junior college, then university. Then get a cushy executive job, find good-looking and rich husband. Settle down, have kids, get the 5 Cs. Done. That for a long time, was my modus operandi as a ‘straight’ person.

Suddenly, Life threw me a curve ball and my little peaceful snow-globe of reality was violently shaken. In an instant, everything was a blizzard. Following the storm of emotions and events that ensued, the landscape of life had changed. Someone, somehow, had moved my cheese. Things were not the same again.

And I guess the biggest change was the fact that I now live in two worlds.

One world was the politically correct one. In that world, I’m not out about my sexuality and I might even sometimes lie to people about my sexuality to keep it hidden (for the very fact that to put my neck out there is to jeopardize whatever I have). For example, office workers are usually not out about their sexuality to their co-workers. Or, some others choose not to be out to certain family members or friends for fear of rejection/condemnation. Thus, for one reason or other, we hide from people.

Then there is the opposite world. In that world, we wear our sexuality on our sleeves. We talk about it, engage in queer relationships and queer culture. We might immerse ourselves in the community and queer-themed events. Sexuality is not a taboo issue. In fact, it is celebrated. And the boys talk about boys and the girls talk about girls.

Thus there are distinct separate realities in which I live. I know that for some luckier people, this is not the case. They have both gay and straight friends in their social circles, and the topics of sexuality can come up without the fear of discrimination or narrow-mindedness. Or some may say that their sexuality is a non-issue for them and thus do not feel the need to come out to anyone in particular, so long as they are happy. Therefore some may protest my belief that as gay people, we live in two worlds. However, it’s all a matter of definitions, I consider gay-friendly straight friends as being a part of the gay-side of life. And even if you don’t consider your sexuality an issue, this aspect of your life manifests itself publicely only under certain conditions. And more often that not, it’s under gay-friendly conditions. So aren’t there two sides to the coin then? The safe one and the not-so safe one.

What I consider to be the ‘politically correct’ world, is the world in which systemic homophobia exists. Whereby you watch the words you use and be careful to call your girlfriend ‘partner’, instead of the more former, direct feminine noun. The situations whereby you artfully dodge your relatives’ questions of, ‘When are you going to get married?’. Or when people ask if you are attached or have a boyfriend, you give mysterious cryptic replies. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that most of us have faced such a world.

These days, I perceive my reality as having two worlds. The ‘gay world’ and the ‘straight world’. Sometimes I hang out with gay people, sometimes with straight people. But never (or rarely) both together. Sometimes my gay world and my straight world collides, and I get so excited at such a phenomena because it’s almost surreal. (Like when my ex-J C schoolmates stumbled upon the book reading of SQ21 at Borders, I whispered to them that, ‘Gay people are all around you.’ and they ask me, ‘No kidding?’) And I wonder when I’ll ever bridge that divide. Some others have reached that stage, whereby there is substantial common ground between their worlds. But right now for me, it’s still glaringly apart.

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I guess that’s why a lot of us identify with superheroes. Just as how superheroes reveal one dimension of themselves in the day and another dimension of themselves in the night. So do gay people. Some can say that straight people also hide certain aspects of themselves in different situations. Well, that is true. But I would say that gay people feel this more acutely than straight people do. Because the phenomena of homophobia tends to be more universal than other less distinct prejudices.

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That’s why I ain’t dreaming when I see more gay people than straight people watching X-Men with the rest of us. After all, we’re all superheroes in a way.