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Happy Mothers’ Day

on . Posted in Family.

When i was little, my mother is my teacher, discipline mistress, chef, and source of moral stories rolled into one.

As a teacher:
She invested into my education heavily, traveling miles to fetch me to and from classes.
I was taught English by British teachers; Chinese by Mainland Chinese teachers; how to prepare for survival when disaster strikes by Ang Mos; how to paint a black goldfish and a translucent tail using a Chinese brush; how to play the piano… before i was 12 years of age.

As a discipline mistress:
She believed in “spare the rod, spoil the child”.
And so, mischievous as i was, i was well-acquainted with “Mr. Cane”. It was not one of those “you make me so angry that it went over my threshold and now you are paying for it muahahah!” sort of discipline. I was never confused why she was upset with me- she would tell me why and backed it up.

As a chef:
She would research on the latest nutritious food and cook a storm.
I drink Cantonese soup frequently because she believes in brews.
I get to savor all kinds of Chinese herbs because she says they are good for me.
So, i was kept from “heatiness” and she brewed whatever she could to “strengthen” my body.
The home-made dishes are (till today)… Low Fat, Low in Salt, completely without white sugar and very green. I eat tons of vegetables as well… because “too much meat is not good for you darling.”

As a source of moral stories:
She related stories of her life to me.
She told me of people around her- at work, at play and those in the huge family tree.
She taught me to listen patiently, to treat people with kindness and respect, to love animals, to care for the environment, to save water, to greet my neighbors whenever i see them. It was also she who cultivated in me, the love for the beach. To learn to appreciate the beautiful things of creation.
Little things… Big things…
She covered them as much as she could.

As i grew older, my mother stop using physical discipline.
Correction now takes the form of acoustic sounds- we talk.

But that’s where the challenge comes in. After i started to question the status quo, she had to back up every single argument she had that i didn’t agree with. As a parent, an elder, you wouldn’t expect an opened heart especially towards a child who “have had less rice than the salt” she ate.

But this is what i admire about my mother-
She doesn’t take the stance “I am older than you and therefore i know better forever and ever and ever Muahaha!”
She does not utilize death threats to manipulate me…
“If you don’t do as i say, i will jump outta this window! And then you will burn in hell, you unfilial child!”
Neither does she close her ears to all i have to say.
Communication is two-way… She took time to understand how i think and how i feel.

She never said sorry when she transgressed the boundaries… Some Chinese elder pride thing. But “sorry” takes other forms…
She would cook my favorite food and the issue would melt away into oblivion.

These days, our relationship is reciprocal.
We would hang out together… yes, i am Mummy’s girl.
We would set aside every Sunday for a hearty breakfast… just me and her… and we would talk about life and people.
We would share our aspirations, our dreams and ambitions. At age 50, she has ambitions! She has never stopped learning… and i am proud of her. She is one of the uneducated women of her era…  but that has not stopped her from pursuing what she loves. I admire her for her passion.
We encourage one another in our daily walk… when i told her of my challenges, she said, “Don’t worry. You will do well.”

“It’s easy to shine under your care… Thank you for loving me.”

Happy Mothers’ Day to all you wonderful mothers out there. =)



# onekell 2010-02-02 01:57
onekell said,

May 14, 2006 at 4:44 pm

You’re a lucky girl. It’s great to have a mother who is also a frien
# pleinelunee 2010-02-02 01:57

pleinelune said,

May 14, 2006 at 7:30 pm

I think my mother has done a good job in raising me, though there is a lot about her I wish she would change. We unfortunately aren’t close at all. :(
# Mier 2010-02-02 01:57
Mier said,

May 14, 2006 at 10:00 pm

what are some parts that you would like her to change? =)
# lublubb 2010-02-02 01:57

lublub said,

May 14, 2006 at 10:52 pm

haha i can imagine it already. A larger mother cat licking the top of the kitten’s head. Mier and mommy ….

Lol so cute!
# mmint 2010-02-02 01:58

mint said,

May 15, 2006 at 3:02 am

Very heart-warming! If it is abit longer, it will sure bring tears to my eyes. I wish my mum has her own ambitions.
# Mier 2010-02-02 01:58

Mier said,

May 15, 2006 at 2:50 pm

I think my mother is cute too. She’s a lively character. And she loves cats too! HEhe!

You never know… with all that campaign for life-long learning/participation in activities, your mummy might just sign herself up for some classes one day!
# xSpert 2010-02-02 01:58

xSpert said,

May 16, 2006 at 5:21 pm

I think that I’m raised in good family and in good enviroment (considering the war, and other stuff)…… My morale values haven’t changed and I belive that’s most important -> to be raised as a good, honest person!! with high morale standards. But I don’t like my mother to much……. I have to “love” her cos she’s my mother, but there’s nothing more…….. I found it a bit strange……. but it doesn’t bother me……..?!….. Anyway……. Happie Mothers� Day to all mothers in the World……. it’s hard job, and we have to try to make it a bit easyer………..
# Mier 2010-02-02 01:58

Mier said,

May 17, 2006 at 10:38 am

Hey xSpert,

that sounds kinda sad that you have to love your mother simply because you have to.
Isn’t there anything that is lovable about your mother? =)

You are right about honesty. I think that’s very important.
# xSpert 2010-02-02 01:58

xSpert said,

May 17, 2006 at 4:27 pm

Well it is pretty much like that!!! I feel it like obligation…….. You can love your partner, but it’s different with your fammily….. I respect my mother, and apprishiate her, and her work, but to love…………. I don’t know, is it something wrong with me, but it’s just the way I feel :-)

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