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Laws of Lesbianism

on . Posted in Humour.

Lost about the complex dynamics of lesbian relationships? Need some guidance? Let Pleinelune, the resident satirist, help you.

1. Thou shalt date your friends

2. Thou shalt either have deep, intimate but sexless relationships with your exes, or never ever talk to them again.

3. Thou shalt get down on your knees and prostrate everytime Leisha Hailey appears on TV.

4. Thou shalt talk about girls at every opportunity with your friends.

5. Thou shalt not date someone with the same hair

7. Thou shalt bring a U-haul to second date

6. Thou shalt bring a turkey baster to third date

8. Thou shalt just talk about feelings with your partner and take showers, all the time.

9. Thou shalt merge with your partner, in terms of clothing, hair, mindset and everything else, over the years, so much so that you look like twins.

10. Thou shalt have lesbian bed death no later than 5 years into the relationship

If Thou have not fulfilled all of these ten commandments, thou art a bad lesbian, and thou shalt not attain lesbian heaven, filled with beautiful girls, and thou shalt be thrown into hell filled with ugly straight men.


# popagandhi 2010-02-02 04:03

popagandhi said,

June 23, 2006 at 5:19 pm

Very funny.. I don’t know whether I should feel honoured, or vaguely upset, for having inspired 2 out of 10 laws.
# jeean 2010-02-02 04:04

jean said,

June 23, 2006 at 5:44 pm

WAHAHAHHA!!!! Hilarious! With a ring of truth too.. *ouch* WHAAHAHHA.
# minty 2010-02-02 04:04

minty said,

June 23, 2006 at 11:57 pm

last para… good one!
# popagandhi 2010-02-02 04:04

popagandhi said,

June 24, 2006 at 6:26 am

Regarding #9: refer here.
# pleinelunee 2010-02-02 04:04

pleinelune said,

June 24, 2006 at 11:16 am

My god… did you shop at the same place, and just order two sets for the outfit? LOL
# victoriasecret 2010-02-02 04:04

victoriasecret said,

June 24, 2006 at 2:08 pm

sorry.. but i really dont understand some of the points…
#10.. means that the rs will last for 5 years.. then break up because of hte s** not satisfying enough? =S

in fact i dont understand most of the points…

i really have so much too learn.. sigh.. -_-”
# kkarel 2010-02-02 04:04

karel said,

June 24, 2006 at 2:16 pm

it’s tongue-in-cheek lah :) but sometimes true
# ww. 2010-02-02 04:05

w. said,

June 25, 2006 at 2:22 pm

Aiyah, can I prostrate when Bette/Helena’s on screen instead?

I will dodge LBD. I will dodge LBD. I will dodge LBD. *repeat ad infinitum*
# pleinelunee 2010-02-02 04:05
pleinelune said,

June 26, 2006 at 7:54 pm

VS, I never said anything about breaking up. I just said they would encounter LBD…. try not to be so judgemental, please
# victoriasecret 2010-02-02 04:05

victoriasecret said,

June 27, 2006 at 4:58 pm

pleine.. you got me wrong.. i am not jusdging you..
it’s jsut that i dont understand the joke.. -_-”.. really sorry…
sigh.. in fact i dont get the meaning of hte laws…
# kaLoi 2010-02-02 04:05

kaLoi said,

July 5, 2006 at 1:37 am

*guilty mode* lolz!

i love law #3 – Thou shalt get down on your knees and prostrate everytime Leisha Hailey appears on TV.

i love leisha hailey!
# chad 2010-02-02 04:06

chad said,

May 6, 2009 at 8:01 pm

whats up with the turkey?
i have to thanks give for having a date?LOL

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