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Dear Homophobe~

on . Posted in Coming Out.

Dear homophobe:

I used to get angry for extensive periods when you cross my path. But these days, after a few encounters, i realized… many homophobes sing the same old song.

Like a broken record.

Your Profile, Persistent Homophobe:
1. Ignorant of homosexuality and the literature behind it.
2. If not ignorant, out to twist results of studies done.
3. Weak arguments- unable to substantiate why homosexuality is “wrong”.
4. Generalization of stereotypes.

There is a well of information that you can draw from, from this site, from the forums, to try understanding our community.

But you chose not to.
No no, you rather wallow in your ignorance and familiar ground. People like you cannot think out of the box you were born in… You are stuck.

And you love being stuck!
Because if you ever know us as people, you would be astounded by how human we are… and yet how strong we are.

That is a defeat you cannot swallow.

You don’t want to believe that we can be happy. You want us subjugated and converted. Perhaps you want us eliminated from the surface of this earth.
And you would do anything in your power to achieve your means- which is to try to steal, kill and destroy.

You TRY to:
Steal our happiness.
Kill the depressed among us with religious judgment.
Destroy the peace-loving image we have- which indeed we are.

But guess what…?

You ain’t gonna win.

Yours is a downhill battle- because you are out to steal, kill and destroy.

Peace is not on your agenda; hatred is.

We lesbians are different from you hardcore terrorist homophobe:
We are not fighting against flesh and blood.
We are fighting ignorance and misinformation.
Our means are peaceful.

That reminds me.
Yesterday, i was talking to my mother about marriage- overseas no doubt. I wanted to marry my girlfriend and asked if she would be there. My mother said this: “I will be the flower girl.”, indicating her presence. Little things like these mean so much to me.

You know the latest message the government is conveying?
Family is everything.
And what my mother say to me is of much more significance than what you homophobes say.

Two days back, my straight friends and I jested about who’s gonna walk down the aisle first.
They asked me, “what about you and Nic? Where will it be held?” And they want to be there- in spite of the fact that my marriage is going to be held overseas and they need to pay for the airfare!
My friends my friends, you have my heart…

Your era is over, dear homophobe.

You have been hoodwinked into thinking that people like you are ubiquitous. But the numbers are rapidly dwindling.

And have you ever thought of this:
We have been here for so long- since thousands and thousands of years.
… We are definately here to stay.
Even the Jews number over 15 million after plans to eradicate them by the Nazis.

Don’t take things too hard okay?

Love,
Mier

 

Comments   

# BrandX 2010-02-02 00:01
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BrandX said,

June 16, 2006 at 3:05 pm

Tsk, a few choice words was all it took to get your wrinkled, saggy titties in a knot.

Such a long diatribe. The reference to your mama didn’t escape me. Did you have a knife at her throat so that she’d say only what you want to hear? Afterall, lesbians, esp the butches, are known to be more violent than any male.

I guess u ain’t woman enuff to realize this. But the bitterness that u feel? Caused by ur anti-govt sentiments in ur other diatribe abt the Smile! campaign. Imagine taking something as innocent as a smiling campaign and turning it into some lesbian agenda.

I guess it’s true: Butches have a lot of bitterness.

Oh, & go on. Delete my post. That’s how predictable dykes are.
Reply
# annie 2010-02-02 00:02
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annie said,

June 16, 2006 at 3:09 pm

Hey Mier.. i think you shouldn’t bother.. this is very childish. But thanks for the post! I love it.
Reply
# lublubb 2010-02-02 00:02
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lublub said,

June 16, 2006 at 5:03 pm

Oh gosh, Brandx, i think you missed the whole satrical/ tongue-in-cheek tone of mier’s post. And if the harshness did genuinely originate from the author. Put yourselves in our shoes k?

Imagine GLBT are the iraqis and the homophobes the americans. Everyday, we get ‘bombed’ by ppl who think they know better. Who think they know our ‘country’ more than we do and thus their actions are for ‘our good’. But we are the ones who have been suffering for years under such tyrannical actions, and thus there is resentment. It’s not that hard to envision right?

I would also take offence at how u have generalised and stereotyped mier based on her blog post tone. Butch?? HAHAHAHA. HARDLY. Mier is the most feminine girl you’ll ever come across. She looks more femme than straight girls, and she’s always wearing pretty skirts! =D

*sorry mier =) if i ‘revealed’ you but this gross assumption of who you are is sthg i can’t stand*

And lol, i also doubt the admin would delete your comment. Becos those who REALLY know mier would laugh when they read it, and especially how she has been ‘miscontrued’ to be a butch (!). ROFL
Reply
# pleinelunee 2010-02-02 00:02
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pleinelune said,

June 16, 2006 at 10:10 pm

Mier? Butch? Hahahhahahahhaaha……

Your comment is so laughable, I think I’m going to leave it there so that you can continue to embarrass yourself.
Reply
# Mier 2010-02-02 00:02
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Mier said,

June 16, 2006 at 10:42 pm

Me- butch!? AHHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!!

Man, Brandx wishes so HARD that we are bitter, it tickles me!!
Reply
# ryan 2010-02-02 00:02
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ryan said,

June 16, 2006 at 11:38 pm

Mier-the most feminine girl’s name. LOL. I love your post, Mier :)
Reply
# jjasmine 2010-02-02 00:03
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jasmine said,

June 17, 2006 at 6:50 am

You don�t want to believe that we can be happy.

so true.
Reply
# victoria secret 2010-02-02 00:03
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victoriasecret said,

June 17, 2006 at 11:50 am

hi mier…

it’s very strong post.. =$… i hope i would have the courage like yours.. but i really dont think so…
i am a homophobe and not sure how it will last..

btw.. thts great news… :D .. so you are getting married?.. must tell us in advance…
Reply
# Emily 2010-02-02 00:03
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Emily said,

June 18, 2006 at 11:06 am

down with homophobia!

Hey Mier, check this out. Here’s something interesting. It explains why BrandX is the way he is. We all know who gets the last laugh.

A journal from National Center for Biotechnology Information:

IS HOMOPHOBIA ASSOCIATED WITH HOMOSEXUAL AROUSAL?

by Henry E. Adams, Ph.D., Lester W. Wright, Jr., Ph.D. and Bethany A. Lohr
Department of Psychology, University of Georgia, Athens 30602-3013, USA.

Abstract:

The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals. Participants consisted of a group of homophobic men (n = 35) and a group of nonhomophobic men (n = 29); they were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The men were exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual, and lesbian videotapes, and changes in penile circumference were monitored. They also completed an Aggression Questionnaire (A. H. Buss & M. Perry, 1992). Both groups exhibited increases in penile circumference to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies.

Poor BrandX. Being one of the 80% must be hard on him.
Reply
# Desmond Lim 2010-02-02 00:03
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Desmond Lim said,

June 18, 2006 at 3:00 pm

*clap clap clap* encore, encore!!! beautifully put.
Reply
# Mier 2010-02-02 00:03
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Mier said,

June 18, 2006 at 6:55 pm

Hilarious! Thanks, Emily. =)

VS: Not getting married so soon. At least another 2 and a half years to go. ;>

To all who were entertained by this post: it’s my pleasure~!
Reply
# humphh 2010-02-02 00:03
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humph said,

June 19, 2006 at 6:57 am

I was wondering when the jealous ex-boyfriends would come. Sure took them some time.
Reply
# miak 2010-02-02 00:04
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miak said,

June 19, 2006 at 10:40 am

really i wonder sometimes, what drives them to fear us so?
Reply
# Mier 2010-02-02 00:04
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Mier said,

June 19, 2006 at 12:04 pm

Insecurity? Inferiority complex?

My guy friends who are secure being men don’t exhibit this kind of hate-rubbish.
Reply
# humphh 2010-02-02 00:04
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humph said,

June 19, 2006 at 4:23 pm

Well I sought the opinions of two of my (straight male) friends and they said it might just simply be uncomplex bo liao-ness – the state of having nothing better to do. People suffering from that would love all the fuss over them/their words so the best response to such provocation (next time) would be not to respond, difficult as that may be.

Getting backlash also means this blog is having greater reach than before. :)
Reply
# floridaboy 2010-02-02 00:04
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floridaboy said,

June 19, 2006 at 5:11 pm

To those girls who are out to convert gay men to become straights, I offer myself to be their boyfriend. Time for them to walk their talks.
Reply
# onekell 2010-02-02 00:05
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onekell said,

June 19, 2006 at 5:42 pm

(editor: pls remove my previous two comments if you see them, this is a repost with html links)

Personally, I find it a waste of time to engage homophobic individuals, unless I felt they were sincere about learning and understanding more.

(Veiled) insults may be temporarily gratifying, but I doubt they advance the cause or bridge the gap, because people do not listen well when they are in defensive mode. Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell, interprets and synthesises sociological and psychological studies which (to my mind) support this idea.

miak, as the abstract above mentioned, it�s true that there are individuals who are in denial about their sexual orientation and therefore exhibit homophobia.

Generally, I believe it�s ignorance, stereotyping and social sanction that forms the basis of this fear. If for example, they knew people whom they respected and cared about were queer, they might be motivated to find out and understand more.
Reply
# xSpert 2010-02-02 00:05
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xSpert said,

June 19, 2006 at 6:25 pm

So what’s the problem with “Brandx”??? It’s nice article…… I don’t get it…..
Reply
# Mier 2010-02-02 00:05
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Mier said,

June 20, 2006 at 2:12 pm

Okie.. I think i should make a clearer response. hehe.

1. I do not think that this post is a waste of time.
First of all, it didn’t take me long to write it. Secondly, i was merely expressing what i felt when i read Brandx’s comment to “Smiles Campaign”. And i believe that what i feel is not unique to me only and that sharing what i feel/think is not unhelpful.

2. Bridging the gaps to the homophobic community is completely irrelevant to the intent of this post.
(If bridging the gaps is all we do, then parades that compound misunderstandings of the gay community should not be condoned.)
Don’t discount the value of this post at the community level. The spirits of lesbian readers are important- it’s like the first step. Before you talk about coming out, you need the strength to do it. Ineffective- really?

3. Ignoring homophobes is a valid response- but i do not believe that it’s a superior response.
Reply
# Soo Mei 2010-02-02 00:05
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Soo Mei said,

June 22, 2006 at 11:19 pm

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! :)
Reply
# MichaelDavidHume 2010-02-02 00:05
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MichaelDavidHume said,

September 13, 2006 at 12:25 pm

I think what you are doing is great. You help so many people, female and male, Christian and non-Christian.

I am a 47 year old American professor. I have lived in China for 7 years.

I think America is complex and so is China. Both Chinese in America and in China ofen quote Confucius.

There are a lot of books that are about Confucius. We in the Western tradition are so influenced by the Greek tradition of individuality. Confucius said some great things like “Bend like the willow, so you will not break in a strong wind.” That means do not take on every difficult cause. When I see a Chinese lawyer in Beijing. That is what SHE tells me. I agree with your view about the statement you post should NOT be followed by all women. NOT all women should be pressured to have children. In fact, it should ALWAYS be a choice. Perhaps you could say Old China or something. I do not want you to alienate Chinese. Okay. I want you to be as successful as possible. Chinese revere Confucius. They will not be so Westernized as to completely drop him and be like us. I mean no disrespect to you. Take care. God Bless you.
Reply

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