The Woman- Discriminated and “Objectified”

I am sure by now you would have gotten a whiff of the NYP girl video- if not the video, at least the knowledge of it. It is circulating like a forest fire on a warm summer night. (And just today, my friend told me that her NS boyfriend will be getting the clip from another guy friend… and they will all watch the clip together. Apparently the excitement is still very much alive.)

A male blogger: “… should we sympathise with Tammy? … Seriously, why should we? No decent girl will film their sexual acts for whatever purpose, unless her ambition since young is to be the Porn Idol. Likewise you do not transit in Sillypore with 10kg of drugs and when caught, claim innocence.”

It is not the point here that the transgressor is the thief, who not only stole the mobile (crime 1) but also bore sufficient malice to expose and circulate it (crime 2- invasion of privacy and personal space)… It is not the point that the transgression here is NOT the two of them having sex (How can it be akin to drugs possession? I am completely baffled by his logic. The illegal age for sexual intercourse is under 16, is it not?)… It is also not the point that a girl performing oral on her boyfriend is unlikely to have free hands to film herself doing it at the same time (Yes, i am saying that the male did the recording for that scene).

The point here is: How is the video viewed?
BOTH the guy and the girl had their faces exposed in the clip… however, the attention is really skewed. The male’s part in this (and i assure you it’s no small part given that it takes TWO to have sex) was conveniently effaced. Why?

The prevalant attitude endorsed by many is the culprit: It is axiomatic that men are naturally more sexual; it’s their genes- Men are helpless and controlled by their raging hormones! Women? Women are supposed to be asexual creatures; if they are sexual, it’s immoral.

This is untenable… and those who reason along such lines are ignorant of the fact that women DO have orgasms and yes, they DO ENJOY SEX.

Let me tell you i think she is a contributing factor to this huge scandal (albeit not the sole factor). It is the same as any other situation- if you were knocked down by a car while crossing the road, it is partly your part because you chose to cross the road. You could have wore flashing lights on your shirt to draw attention to your presence or taken the overhead bridge! *sarcasm fully intended*

The victim of the theft also had a title placed on her by this male blogger- he called her “Sillypore Porn Idol”. It amused me greatly that this male blogger would watch the clip at all, and even had endurance to review and put up images from the clip, since he is such a moral chap. Well, i am assuming that he is holier-than-thou in order to have the prerogative to make derogatory remarks about someone else’ moral state. But i digress.

What i am trying to say is this: The woman is seen as a SEX OBJECT.

In the sex clip. all attention falls onto her. She is the topic of discussion- everything else, including the male fades into oblivion. People, even women who view the clip, focused their attention on the woman; while juggling an incompatible basket of emotions- fascination, intrigue, horror, self-righteousness and condemnation.

So there you go: The woman is blamed for sexual immorality while the man get away with it. And since the woman is blamed for sexual immorality, she must have brought this disaster upon herself- sufficient justification for others to “enjoy” her body and derogate her to feel better about themselves at the same time. Perfect play out of the just-world phenomenon, don’t you think?

Let me put forth this hypothetical situation: What if she is having sex with a feminine GIRL like herself?

Well, this time, resource allocation would be fairly allocated to BOTH parties involved in this clandestine, saucy affair. Woman on woman- sex objects for men… a preamble to the infamous male fantasy. And of course fundamental Christian homophobics like Thio Su Mien will be writing in to TODAY to deride such gay practices… and she will probably be granted half a page.

But there would probably be less outcry. Coz lesbian sex isn’t considered real sex by conventions. As far as many are concerned, it’s “just two girls playing among themselves”.

I am torn between feeling sorry for the man for putting up a ”lackluster performance” (since he is almost effaced from public discussion); and for the girl, who is so captivating, that jealous observers can only drool with guilt, and criticize (to resolve the guilt) at the same time.