News and Opinions

The Freedom To Love

Written by Pink Dot on . Posted in Events

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Coming out of the closet is seldom easy. Just ask DJ Big Kid (otherwise known as Johnson Ong), a prominent name at dance parties across Asia.

 

Big Kid is Singaporean, gay, and closeted to his family. In fact, this story might be his way of leaving the proverbial doors open for future conversations with his loved ones. “I grew up in an environment where I was told being gay is wrong; that I needed to cast out the demons,” he said.

 

To face the prejudices he encountered growing up, Big Kid said ‘yes’ to being a Pink Dot 2010 ambassador, along with GLBT-supportive celebrities Tan Kheng Hua and Adrian Pang.

 

He says: “Last year’s Pink Dot was a fantastic effort… and it’s a simple thing that we can do once a year to say that LGBT people are a part of the Singapore family.”

 

Pink Dot is a one-day event celebrating the freedom to love, regardless of their sexual orientation. Last year, 2,500 people turned up at the pink picnic held at Hong Lim Park to celebrate Pink Dot day. The high-profile event also received attention from local and international media, like the International Herald Tribune and the BBC.

 

This year, Pink Dot honours kinship and family – in support and in recognition of our parents, siblings, relatives and friends of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Singaporeans. Come join in the fun on May 15, 2010 at Hong Lim Park.

 

Big Kid suspects some members of his family might be aware of his sexual orientation. But so far, none of them have confronted him. He’s pretty certain that this same dynamic applies to many gay Singaporeans – a code of ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ within families, so as to avoid difficult conversations.

Die-hard questions

Written by AnJ on . Posted in Commentary

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Skyride at Sentosa, Singapore

This picture reminds me of never-ending questions, and conversations that go in circles...

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While having dinner with a Christian gay friend, she asked, ‘Anj, i have a question to ask you...’ Over my piping hot ramen, i took a deep breath and placed my chopsticks neatly at the side of the wide ramen bowl. And i studied her carefully for a few seconds as she began the conquest of her spicy minced pork ramen. She has been my friend for some years now and has asked me the darnest things. Sometimes i wonder how it is possible that a friend of mine would hold such values.

Gay people around me ask questions like...
•    ‘Don’t you think there’s something wrong with lesbians who dress like men? Why don’t they just be FTMs?’
•    ‘Don’t you think there’s something wrong with butches? They are born like women therefore they should behave like women.’
•    ‘Bisexuals cannot be trusted. They shouldn’t be in the community.’
•    ‘Gay people who are promiscuous should just be shot because they are bringing the community down.’
Christian struggling gay friends ask me additional questions like...
•    ‘Wasn’t Sodom destroyed because of homosexual activity? My church friend told me so.’

And i find myself defending the right to be masculine, to choose one’s partners, to change one’s sex and to choose one’s faith. That’s not onerous part. This is worse: typically, it takes multiple repeats before anything makes an impression. It’s almost like they are so rooted in what they believe, they find it hard to digest contrary evidence.

Passing Privilege

Written by alina on . Posted in Coming Out

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I never truly understood what femme privilege was till the time I walked down the street with a butch-seeming friend and felt the looks change, became conscious of being different.

 

But I hadn’t changed at all, I declared to myself, shocked. I could have walked this path two days ago and not merited a second glance. The visibility actually came as a shock, which says a lot about how much I’ve been in the straight world lately.

 

The fact is, in this society it’s not hard to pass (as straight), especially when you’re happily single, with no fetching woman on your arm, and dress in fairly feminine attire. I probably could get by the average straight person’s gaydar without a second glance.

 

Because women are naturally ‘ugly’- The Mold & my Repentence

Written by AnJ on . Posted in Commentary


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The 'Perfect' Woman

 

When i first picked up the book ‘Beauty Myth: How images of beauty are used against women’ by Naomi Wolf, i wasn’t expecting to repent.

Oppression against women... not me! How can that ever be?

Not with my belief that women are on par with men in terms of intelligence and its many forms.... or my conviction that women are presentable in the public sphere and that they make good in society. I pitch for equality and meritocracy for all genders. I am definitely for women, not against women.

Even before i read the book, i made it a point not to comment on how someone looks unless she/he is looking ‘good’. If i can’t say anything pleasant, i don’t say anything at all. I find people who go ‘hey, you have dark eye rings/pimples/wrinkles’ or ‘you are getting really big-sized/fat/a tummy huh?’ particularly agitating. The rule of thumb is simple: if whatever you want to say makes your friend feel bad and it ain't gonna help, shut up. If you think you are informing her of something she doesn’t know... guess what? Not a chance. She has probably scrutinized herself in the glass 1000 times. All you had was a perfunctory glance.

We are recruiting volunteers!

Written by irene on . Posted in Announcements

Have you felt that Sayoni has changed your life? Do you feel like doing something for the community? Perhaps you would like to meet more people while having fun at the same time? 

Sayoni is recruiting volunteers for our upcoming activities and events. We welcome everyone to join us in making the upcoming events possible. The first upcoming event would be Sayoni Anniversary Party, which will require many helping hands! 

Please write to irene [at] sayoni [dot] com if you would like to volunteer. We are all waiting!

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