And I am clubbing away, in one of the most happening gay clubs in town.

I have not visited many queer nightspots in Beijing, so I would not declare it as the most happening gay club in Beijing. However, it is rather popular with gay men, and sometimes with straight clients.

Destination is quietly tucked away on a side of Gongti Xi Road, a stark contrast from the brightly-lit signboards just opposite, enticing party-goers with the flashing neon lights. It is not exactly obsure, but yet not conspicuous either with the monochrome signboard. I managed to see it on the taxi simply because I kept my eye on that side of the road.

However it was an entirely different scene the moment I stepped inside. It was jammed packed with party-goers at 11 pm on the Saturday night, most notably men. It was a bit surreal to see all the gay men, in different shapes and sizes, dressed to the nines (ok perhaps some dressed to the sevens or eights), straight-acting or queeny and bantering rapidly in their crisp Beijing-accented Mandarin. There were quite a number of young Caucasian men there, rather different from what I had seen when I last visited this club in year 2005, when almost all the Caucasian men there were at least in their fourties.

The 30 yuan admission charge is inclusive of a drink, either a bottle of Carlsberg, Evian or Barcardi Freezer. I got a bottle of Carlsberg beer for myself, and sneaked off to a corner to prevent being an obstacle, while admiring the action on the dance floor. It was too crowded on the dance floor, and my friends and I decided that we would dance later, and chatted while drinking by the side. It did not take long for us to get bored.

For every woman who is tired of acting weak when she knows she is strong, there is a man who is tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable.

For every woman who is tired of acting dumb, there is a man who is burdened with the constant expectation of ‘knowing everything.’

For every woman who is tired of being called ‘an emotional female,’ there is a man who is denied the right to weep and to be gentle.

For every woman who is called unfeminine when she competes, there is a man for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity.

For every woman who is tired of being a sex object, there is a man who must worry about his potency.

For every woman who feels ‘tied down’ by her children, there is a man who is denied the full pleasures of shared parenthood.

For every woman who is denied meaningful employment or equal pay, there is a man who must bear full financial responsibility for another human being.

For every woman who was not taught the intricacies of an automobile, there is a man who was not taught the satisfactions of cooking.

For every woman who takes a step toward her own liberation, there is a man who finds the way to freedom has been made a little easier.

‘ Nancy R. Smith

A friend of mine did a simple survey for his Sociology assignment. He asked many friends (about 20 of them) this question, ‘Would you feel more comfortable with a butch in your presence, or with an effeminate gay man?’

When he asked me this question, I replied, ‘Oh the gay man, of course.’

I am waging a war. And I am losing, badly. My defences are being torn down by the battering ram of a heaving cleavage, tightly wrapped in a V-neck blouse. I can ‘t take my eyes off, and I don ‘t quite want to either. A fighter cannot be distracted. Yet distraction walks in the form of a pair of sexy, tanned legs in a short skirt and high heels. My guard is down, and I pay for the lapse in attention badly, when a beautiful face leads a cavalry charge against me.

I surrender, but not before artillery in the form of a smoky glance in my direction sends me running for cover.

Ladies and ladies, I am fighting a war, which I enjoy losing every time. Whether it be on a MRT train, on the streets, or simply on the TV screen, this is a war I wage everyday, in trying not to objectify women.

I can ‘t really help it: I love women so much I sometimes wonder why it took me so long to come out to myself. It is hard not to check out women all around me. As a woman, it is so much easier to get away with it, as even straight women check each other out all the time, but more for sizing up competition.

… are you at higher risk of developing breast or cervical cancer?

Being lesbian or bisexual does not directly influence the frequency of these cancers. But there are certain risk factors that are particularly prevalent among women who love women. For that reason, it’s important to be informed.

Loving yourself as a lesbian or bisexual woman also means taking care of yourself and watching your health!

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