A couple of weekends ago we celebrated my Aunt and Uncle’s silver wedding anniversary. It was a grand affair, 12 tables in a smart ballroom, dress code: Formal. There was a live band playing throughout dinner. A pastor family-friend said grace, and blessed my aunt, uncle and cousin. The emcee for the evening was their old friend who had also been the emcee at their wedding dinner, 25 years ago. 1 lady-friend gave a rendition of love songs, and 1 brother-in-law sang 2 love songs in Chinese! My uncle gave a speech, and my cousin gave a speech too…

There was a cheery buzz in the air. Everyone was celebrating my Aunt and Uncle being married for 25 years. More than that, they were celebrating the principles of love, commitment, and the covenant between two people who chose to spend the rest of their lives together. It was so touching and heartwarming, them being surrounded by all their family and friends honouring their marriage and commitment to each other for the past 25 years.

I sent a sms to my girlfriend asking her “Do you think we will some day celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary too?” And she replied “Of course” And when that day comes, this will be my Wish List. I want us to be celebrating with all our friends and families. Everyone joyous, and not simply acknowledging, but honouring, our silver anniversary. I want people to congratulate us as they arrive for the party. I want them to have marked the date in their diaries months in advance. I want them to put the effort into dressing up, and to ponder what gifts would be most appropriate on such a happy and significant occasion. A Wish List for me, but I merely want what every straight couple is now entitled to.

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[You know who you are. =) ]

When I browse through the papers,
What do I see?
White teeth, flawless faces,
Smiling back at me.

They hold each other’s hands.
Gaze into each other’s eyes.
A man and a woman…
“By you i am mesmerized.”

But you, who go against the grain.
Taunted by a wilderness unknown.
You found someone. You stood your ground.
Heck societal’s disapproving tone!

Our love is true, you declared!
You love with incandescence.
A powerful love story you began to craft…
Even movies paled in comparison.

Then obstacles appeared…
Nothing seemed to be going for you.
One wave upon another,
To break up, you took that as a cue.

But oh don’t you see?
The coming together of two imperfect people,
Disappointments and differences
Mistakes and errors… are inevitable.

You said you wanted to let go;
But you couldn’t.
No- deep down somewhere, you believed
And that’s why you wouldn’t.

This is love:

Not that it was never scarred.
Not that foundations were never shaken.
Not that there were no differences.
Not that things don’t pose a challenge.

But that in spite of it all,
The love between you remains.
Strength in the midst of weaknesses;
And of courage and perseverence it paints.

A love extraordinary.
*I wish the two of you all the best.

Labels- why do you hate them?

Some people hate labels because they don’t fit into any category:
“I am not femme; andro or butch!”
“I am a little femme… a little andro, what does that make me?!”
“I behave differently at different occasions. What does that make me?”

Some people hate labels because they don’t identify with the stereotype of that category:
“I am femme BUT i am not passive DAMMIT. I wanna take control!”
“I am butch but that doesn’t mean that i want to give (in bed) and not receive!”