For those who are big on jazz/bossa nova, you are right, I got the title from a song. Not just that, but I thought the title appropriate to what I would like to share.
Recently I fell for someone, of course nothing went according to what I had wished. Through the months I realised we probably aren’t compatible. Not just the fact she’s attached, but well, I probably liked her because I was feeling down. Nevertheless I met up with her not too long ago and that feeling came back again, but I halted it.
People are mostly frivolous and rather cheap in a sense. Well, I think at least I am. I had a relationship not too long ago, oh well maybe that was eight months ago. I did not treasure it in the beginning, but we improved a lot and I thought it was going the distance. Due to unforseen circumstances we had to part. After which I had all the symptoms of a break-up, feeling empty and well, had a rebound. Like I said I didn’t do anything about the rebound because she’s attached.
My ex knew about the rebound, she was angry at first. But she calmed down and ended up encouraging me. I knew it wasn’t out of vindictiveness. She told me she couldn’t guarantee me anything so why should she be angry?
Since our break up, she had been supportive, encouraging me all the way with whatever stage of life I am going through. I still remembered the time I bought my new flat, I brought her into my new home for the first time. The moment I closed the door and turned around, she was gone. I went to my bedroom and saw her standing there looking happy for me. I would speak in an alien language to her and she would reply in the same way. We communicated through the emotional tones in our voices everytime we spoke like that. It was funny. We would dance ourselves till we are tired in my room too. We did not have to see each other everyday. There was freedom and we could be ourselves as individuals.
Of course all those aren’t the only things that made me happy. Not that I am very sad having lost a great relationship, because I am really used to being single now.
We still talk quite a fair bit, I try to wish her good morning and night everyday. I wondered to myself, perhaps this is it. I’ll never love like this again. I guess I would wait for her, even though I might end up with nothing in the end.
It is silly probably. Who knows, a year from now we might not even speak anymore.