When I first expressed intent to write about women assaulting women, I faced much objection from the community. I have been told point blank that this either does not exist, or does not happen often enough to be pertinent even after I shared my stories of various degrees of same sex abuse.

The few who do acknowledge this issue exists are afraid to voice it out under the flimsy excuse that the community is not ready.  To this, I say that there is never a good time to address thorny issues like these.  I am also told that it might give others the impression that lesbian relationships are dysfunctional.  Going by the same logic, are heterosexual pairings not equally screwed up, given the amount of media attention dedicated to men assaulting women?

Coming up with this article is not easy at all.  However, I believe that this issue needs to be brought out into the open.  By sweeping it under the carpet, we are revictimising those who have experienced some form of female assault, driving them further into their closets of repressed fear, guilt and shame.

http://www.usfca.edu/counseling_center/groups.html

So… I’m standing in the rain, on the grass. At a political rally. Me, the epitome of political apathy. I’m here only because my girlfriend wanted to come, and she almost begged me to come with her. So I gave in. So, I’m here, wondering “What am I doing here?! Is this what it means to be a couple?” You see, we have vastly differing political views. In fact, I don’t even care about politics, whereas my girlfriend is the sort who feels such a high from the electric atmosphere at political rallies. That is just one of our many differences.

Another difference is the way in which we communicate. To me, every little word that is uttered provides its own little nuance, whereas she listens to the whole story and only remembers the summary of the main points. Believe me, this has caused countless arguments between us. From the same message, both of us can draw two conclusions. Actually this issue about communication causes the most problems. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that relationships don’t have conflicts. It is perfectly fine for two people in a relationship to sometimes disagree or fight. But this idea in itself was a paradigm shift for me!

 

What does it mean to be single? Single-hood to some means the in between relationships where we date and have numerous flings. While to others, it means to occupy time with friends and many social outings so as to be able to detect a potential partner for a relationship, yes just short of going out on an actual date. Then, there are the rest of us who devote most of our time meeting friends every now and then but concentrate on work and doing things alone.

Single-hood has a different meaning for me each time. The first was the fear of not being loved by anyone again. After all I had just discovered my sexuality and was lack of a direction. Then of course each time I was left single the aftermath feeling evolved. I would say age played a part too.

No prizes for guessing which kind of singles I belong to mentioned in the first paragraph of this article. Okay, if it is not obvious enough- yes I belong to the third kind.

 

Dedicated to the two of you.

[You know who you are. =) ]

When I browse through the papers,
What do I see?
White teeth, flawless faces,
Smiling back at me.

They hold each other’s hands.
Gaze into each other’s eyes.
A man and a woman…
“By you i am mesmerized.”

But you, who go against the grain.
Taunted by a wilderness unknown.
You found someone. You stood your ground.
Heck societal’s disapproving tone!

Our love is true, you declared!
You love with incandescence.
A powerful love story you began to craft…
Even movies paled in comparison.

Then obstacles appeared…
Nothing seemed to be going for you.
One wave upon another,
To break up, you took that as a cue.

But oh don’t you see?
The coming together of two imperfect people,
Disappointments and differences
Mistakes and errors… are inevitable.

You said you wanted to let go;
But you couldn’t.
No- deep down somewhere, you believed
And that’s why you wouldn’t.

This is love:

Not that it was never scarred.
Not that foundations were never shaken.
Not that there were no differences.
Not that things don’t pose a challenge.

But that in spite of it all,
The love between you remains.
Strength in the midst of weaknesses;
And of courage and perseverence it paints.

A love extraordinary.
*I wish the two of you all the best.